Religion and its Aftermath

Picture Courtesy: http://www.crystalxp.net/galerie/en.id.3470-religion-wallpaper-gruzz-wallpapers.htm

When I was at school, probably in the 7th standard, applying for public examination hall tickets was a big deal! Applicants’ information had to be precise….’cuz if we screwed it up…the repercussions were endless visits to the board of secondary school offices. Most of my teachers always made sure that I got my name right, every year a new teacher… weird isn’t it? Now, why would I get my name wrong? But my teachers were a little skeptical basically because I had a Hindu first name and a Muslim surname…since my mother is a Hindu and my father a Muslim. Most teachers did not even know if such a name existed…what it meant.  But, never before in my life did I feel like I was different to others…like I was not normal…probably a little ashamed as well…especially when it came to filling the section which asked which religion I belonged to…do I tick Hinduism or Islam? I used to hate that part and still do. My friends never had any such problems and I did not want to ask my teachers for advise or suggestions since it meant telling them my life story which in turn gave me unduly attention.

My parents never brought me up a ‘certain way’. They are not religious people and I grew up speaking Telugu (my mother tongue), applied bindi and went to Temples occasionally with friends. My mother remained a Hindu; she wore her Mangalsutra and bindis too. So my brother and I basically were ‘non-religious’. My father rarely goes to the mosque and most people get a shock of their lives when they come to know he is a Muslim. He is a Hyderabadi but speaks fluent Telugu and that confuses people a lot.

If once I was a little embarrassed that I did not have a sense of belonging towards any religion, I have grown up to be a person proud of my heritage. My aversion with religion started with the demolition of Babri Masjid and the riots that followed. We were living in Hyderabad then and I cannot forget the sense of fear in me. Scared to go out and buy food, wondering if anyone would come home and hurt my family…wondering if my mom could be hurt if Muslims came home or if my dad could get hurt if Hindus came home. There was curfew in the city and the tension was high. A local cable TV network continuously broadcasted images of the demolition of the masjid along with Shri Ram’s Devotional songs. The tension was high. My father rushed to the cable TV network’s office and asked him not to show scenes that could easily instigate people. But the operator was adamant and continued to show the pictures. My father did not have any other option but to confiscate his equipment and bring it home. That night remains one of my scariest nights’ till date. I was sure that some religious fanatics would come home and definitely hurt my dad….but it went without any incident. My father’s relatives who live in the ‘Old City’ of Hyderabad had some horrific tales of violence to share with us…which only scared me even more.

The riots ended gradually and life came back to normal. Since then, I never found it important to associate myself with any religion.  But for some it is very important and I never really understood why. Why would someone want to associate themselves to something that is so violent, something that is only used to kill and increase distance between people.

I believe that my parents symbolize what India is all about. We are ‘supposed’ to be a secular country so when there are inter-religious marriages, it is an institution to look up to and not to be sneered at.

Some tell me that religion is a way of life, a discipline….but these words do not have any value for me now. I have only seen people fighting, killing in the name of religion. Religion has only been used to hurt others and not unite people in love and peace. Probably, once upon a time, religion meant discipline, obedience but now it’s been diluted and used when and where possible to satisfy humans selfish needs. It is used only to divide and destroy people’s lives. I believe in God, but I am not ready to believe that different religions have different Gods and that if I pray to one God, the other God(s) will get angry. My God is Universal and I pray for peace everyday.

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What Life Throws at You

I just couldn’t get myself to write the last few days. I was disturbed, angry, sad and most of all helpless. One bad day and it spoils remaning six days. Even if you try really hard to block ‘it’ from your head…you cannot. You want to help people by making them understand how things work…but you can’t. You are scared that it could spoil the health of people you love, but do not know how you could explain this to them. Your mind is muddled-up. You feel it’s going to burst if you think about ‘it’ anymore. Everything good that happens to people around you suddenly makes you jealous. You wonder why good things aren’t happening to you anymore.

People who care about you try and console you…but you still can’t stop thinking about ‘it’. You wonder why life cannot be simple…where you have problems but can be solved easily, where your prayers are answered. Then, after a few days of sulking, thinking, you make up your mind to be strong. You know that the only way to be happy is to be satisfied with what you have and not what you don’t have. You pray to God and put all the burden on His/Her shoulders…reminding him that he/she is the one who is supposed to take care things.

And then you start to relax…but life is a Biatch…and it throws s*** at you again and again…and gradually you get used to it. You learn to tackle it…you learn to work out your life with the problems involved in it…you no more think of God solving your problems. You suddenly realise that it is YOU who will have to take care of things. You realise that you will always have problems….everyone does…but if you have the support of loved ones…you can face anything and most of the time you will come out of it successfully. You’d then just pray to God asking him to take of the ones you love.

I don’t know if it is my harmones talking…’cuz I know most of it sounds like some random ramble. I don’t expect anyone to get the gist of what I have just written…but if anyone did…leave a comment..encouraging ones 😀 because if you don’t…I am ready with a broomstick in my hand 😀

Pic Courtesy: http://www.motivationalplus.com

Death and Destruction. God Help Us!

Pic Courtesy: www.watton.org

  1. The first thing I saw on tele yesterday morning was NEWS of the Earthquake in China. Atleast 15,000 people are believed to be dead and thousands missing. Most of the vicitims were children who were caught unaware when their school building collapsed in a matter of seconds. Since China implements ‘one-child’ policy, a generation of children have been lost in some of the worst hit provinces.
  2. Day before, I also learnt of the serial blasts in Jaipur, where alteast 60 people are believed to be dead and atleast 150+ injured. The bombs were placed bicylcles parked in busy market areas. One of the bombs placed at Hanuman Temple was defused by the bomb defusal squad. As far as I remember, it was first Bangalore, then Delhi, then Hyderabad, then Ajmer Dargah and now Jaipur. The Intelligence Bureau (IB) should be re-named ‘The World’s Most Unintelligent Bureau (TWMUB)’. My reaction was that of shock when it happened in Delhi and Hyd. Now, I have somehow got used to the NEWS. They are bound to happen in our country…if not today..then tomorrow. I am sure most of us feel this way…since we live in a country where the security system is in shambles and IB seems to be doing nothing about it! It agitates me!
  3. Atleast 32,000 people are believed to be dead and scores unaccounted for due to Cyclone Nargis in Burma but the Burmese Military Junta is not accepting help from foreign authorities for food and aid…inspite of it’s people dying of starvation and illness. God, please give them some sense. First they force their power on the Burmese and now they don’t care inspite of so much suffering. If you want to help, please donate here. I read somewhere…IT IS ONLY THE POOREST THAT ARE HIT THE HARDEST BY NATURAL CALAMITIES.

My prayers are for the families who have lost their loved ones….to give them strength to cope with their irreplaceable loss. It is difficult…very difficult. But if our thoughts are with the vicitims and their families when we pray…it will be easier.

When such things happen, my faith in God is questioned. Why can’t God stop all this from happening?

Why Women?!

I wanted to update my blog with a couple of recipes…but since my head muddled up thinking about the recent event in Birmingham….I wanted to write the hell out about the psychological mess I am undergoing!

I was speaking with my mom when she told me more about the news…of how the guy after killing Jyothirmayee, self-inflicted injuries to avoid any doubts of his involvement in the murder. I was asking S why a girl would want a relationship with a psycho as himself in the first place. Probably she did not know he’d turn out to be like this. Not her fault. Now that she is gone…it is her family who have been punished for life. How can a human being be so selfish that he/she can think only about himself/herself and is ready to ruin anything that comes in his/her way?

Why didn’t God give the same strength to women to protect themselves as He/She gave to a man? Why is it that a woman is always molested or raped…? Why is it that a woman has to listen to vulgar talk while walking on the road inspite of wearing a shalwar kameez? Why is it that a woman is disfigured, tortured and sometimes killed if she doesn’t accept a man’s advances/demand for love or lust? Why is she tortured and murdered if she does not pay dowry to her husband and her family…..and the most sorrowful fate of all: she is killed even before she is born!

Be it Ayesha’s murder case which has now taken a political turn or the gruesome murder of a 10th class student Mendu Lakshmi who was all of 15 yrs old by her 19 year old neighbour all because she did not accept his advances, a woman undergoes pain that is unimaginable. If we dig history…thousands of such cases will come up…most of them still in courts after tens of years. In a country like India, where law is in the hands of the rich and powerful….middle-class families have to see generations of their off-spring perish before a verdict is reached!

My thoughts stop here….SHE IS THE BEARER OF ALL, YET SHE SUFFERS THE MOST!

Pic Courtesy: Cornell.edu

Happy Ugadi

Here’s Wishing all my readers a Very Happy Ugadi 🙂

For those who are wondering what I am on about….here’s further information on Ugadi. Let’s pray for Love and Happiness to all 🙂

I visited the Venkateshwara Temple in Birmingham yesterday and how beautiful it was. I first visited the temple when it was no more than a couple of concrete buildings. It now looks like a proper temple, as if it were in India. I’d suggest everyone to visit it … even if you are not a religious person… simply because it’s peaceful and beautiful. The place makes you forget all wordly matters and lets you unwind.

Here’s just some shots I took yesterday

The Main Temple